Life is made a beautiful journey by the experiences that we have. These are the moments that enrich our lives in a way that makes it not only worth living but also teach us to take everything in our stride, whether good or bad and move ahead in life. One of the most essential skills that has helped me to develop a whole new outlook to my surroundings is acceptance . Acceptance of the things the way they are; acceptance of my own shortcomings and that of others as well. Often it is the approach and not the solution itself that can help to solve problems.
One of the most significant moments of my life was the decision of opting to study abroad which, I believe, was also one of the most difficult decisions that I have ever taken. The prospect of having to leave my home, family, friends and everything that I truly love, behind me and go far away, was a scary prospect in itself. But the strong urge to follow my dreams and the support of my family helped to take the leap. From the start I knew that the transition was not going to be easy and I must ready myself to adjust to the new environment. Days spent in contemplation and and trying to gauge the future in store for me finally brought me to the time when I finally had to embark on the journey to the place that would be my home for the next few years to come. By that time I was able to compose my mind, and was ready to face what may come ahead of me.
The semester progressed and a deep liking for the place set in my heart. But soon I realised that although things seemed to be on the brighter side, I had still not adjusted well in my new surroundings. Being extremely caught up in the academic curriculum had made me push back everything else. I hardly had anyone to talk to, apart from those with whom I worked on certain assignments. Loneliness had started to set its roots. Maybe, my reality was not as beautiful as I had imagined it to be.. My performance in academics also started to get affected. I would often look back at the time when my life was more balanced with equal share of academic excellence, social activities and the familial love that surrounded me all the time. Retrospection made things even worse. Everything that had once seemed so bright and sunny appeared in shades of grey. As the work pressure started to increase even more, I would often keep to myself and not ask for help, even when I required it desperately. Although I was trying my best to improve my academic performance, I would miserably fail in my attempts most of the times, often requiring a lot of time to recuperate from the shock.
Finally, the end of the semester arrived and it was time to go back home. It was around that time that I realised how attached I had become to this place and the people. In spite of the a few bad experiences that I had faced, I still looked forward to the next semester! Over the vacations, I could think more clearly and surprisingly enough, I couldn't wait to come back! Introspection brought me to the conclusion that it was important to accept the situation I was in and find joys in little things of life. Also, now I believe I must strive to achieve the goals and dreams that I set for myself and as long as I do that, it will continue to inspire and motivate me. Past memories must only be looked at as enriching experiences. One must be focussed on his present so that he can create for himself, the future that he desires to achieve.
It is now a new year, a new semester and most importantly, a new perspective to life. I do not expect things to change overnight. But I do hope that I grow out of my own insecurities that hinder my development. I pray for guidance, courage and happiness in times yet to unfold. I realise that it is perfectly alright to fall, if you have the courage to get up again. A change in the attitude towards life, acceptance of things the way they are and believing in dreams is what life has taught me. I would not say that the road to achieving my dreams is perfectly smooth, but it is now a beautiful journey, with each day a reward in itself. Life will continue to have ups and downs, but the wisdom to make right choices and the ability to seek inspiration from everyday experiences will see me through all hardships.
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ReplyDeleteThe essay is well-written! It's coherent and clear in general, just a few lengthy sentences here and there. The structure is evident, where there is an introduction, then the setting/ context, followed by the analysis and finally the solutions/ changes to be implemented.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I really like the way you craft the introduction because it tells clearly to the readers the main focus of your whole recount. This helps readers to engage better with your whole essay.
There are some minor mistakes which may be due to carelessness. :P
1) "Days spent in contemplation and and trying to gauge the future ..." -- double 'and'
2) "But the strong urge to follow my dreams and the support of my family helped to take the leap." -- I was taught in the past that 'but' is normally used within a sentence, so 'however' will be used instead. However, I am unsure and may be wrong because I have seen similar case as yours.
3) "One must be focussed on his present so that he can create for himself, the future that he desires to achieve." -- If you have decided to use 'one' at the beginning of the sentence, do not change to 'he' and 'him' because it is inconsistent. Instead, you can use 'one' and 'oneself'.
With regards to 2) point, i mean that 'but' should be placed in the middle of a sentence instead of at the front. Sorry for the confusion.
DeleteI thank you for going through the essay and giving me your valuable feedback! I agree with you on the first point. The extra 'and' appears due to carelessness.
DeleteOn the second point I would say that I do agree with you on the usage of 'but' in the middle of the sentence. At the same time, I urge you to research more on the latest convention on the use of conjunctions at the beginning of the sentences. I learnt in School that certain emphatic sentences can begin with 'but'.
http://www.dailywritingtips.com/can-you-start-sentences-with-“and”-and-“but”/
The third point is well raised. There seems to be a discrepancy regarding the use of 'one'. It will be interesting to instigate further. Here is a link.
http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/one.htm
I have been impressed by your work :) This reflective writing was really touching and well-written.
DeleteThe structure of the essay was very good, I can see there was a logical order of ideas which makes the flow of the essay smooth and clear.
I also like the way you conclude your essay. The concluding paragraph was short and simple, it gave a summary of the main point discussed in the essay and also shared some of the opinions as a recommendation on the subject of the essay to readers.
Great job Shub. and I wish you success in your studies.
Shubhangi,
ReplyDeleteThank your sharing your learning experiences in Singapore with me. I admire your bravery in making the decision to leave all that you love to come to advance your education.
Overall, you articulated your ideas well and your work flows logically from past, present and future--great job.
Language--Pay attention to:
1. Subject+Verb Agreement and parallelism errors:
These are the moments that enrich our lives in a way that 'makes' it not only worth living but also 'teach' us to take everything in our stride, whether good or bad and move ahead in life.
2. Remember what we talked about in class: What is the difference between using 'to infinitive' and 'gerund'?
One of the most significant moments of my life was the decision of opting to study abroad which,…
3. The prospect of having to leave my home, family, friends and everything that I truly love, behind me and go far away, was a scary prospect in itself.
4. Not parallel structure:
But the strong urge to follow my dreams and the support of my family helped to take the leap.
5. 'Ready' is not a verb
From the start I knew that the transition was not going to be easy and I must ready myself to adjust to the new environment.
6. Adjusted + to
I had still not adjusted well in my new surroundings.
7. You reported this event in the past. Did you feel the ways you described below or only 'would feel'?
-As the work pressure started to increase even more, I would often keep to myself and not ask for help, even when I required it desperately. Although I was trying my best to improve my academic performance, I would miserably fail in my attempts most of the times, often requiring a lot of time to recuperate from the shock.
-Over the vacations, I could think more clearly and surprisingly enough, I couldn't wait to come back!